So, I say this all the time – I loved being single as much as I love being married. And although I didn’t date much as a single girl, I remember the agony or just plain frustration and pressure that can come with finding something (or someone ;)) to do on Valentine’s Day as a single person.
I recently had dinner with one of my single besties, who continues to stay hopefully optimistic when it comes to love and dating. She inspired me to write something for her, for my former, younger single-self and for all of you beautiful souls, killing it on the dating scene this Valentine’s Day:
Wear the thing that will make you feel most like the goddess you are!
Certain items of clothing always make me feel specific things, they are kind of like a super power. And certain occasions call for those super powers to be out in full force; job interviews, that first night out after a break up and…very important dates!
Now, don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying splurge on a shopping trip to get something new or that you have to wear a skinny LBD, if that’s not your bag. No! I’m saying find that thing in your closet, something you already own, that you feel equal parts comfortable and equal parts Kween, when you’re wearing it.
This is the perfect date outfit for you! Because when you feel good, you’ll show up as your best damn self.
Protect yourself, at all costs. Period.
I don’t have to tell you beautiful humans, what a shit-show dating life can be. You know all the ups and downs. And Valentine’s Day is no exception. Just because it’s meant to be a day of celebration, some creeps stay creeps.
Again, I’m not saying everyone who wants to date you is a stalker/weirdo/ clinger/ narcissist, BUT… it’s smart of have a plan of action to make sure your boundaries are respected, you maintain your sexual, physical and emotional safety and you feel 100% comfortable at all times, on your date.
So, buy the extra pack of condoms because you think the box you have might be expired, choose a restaurant you know well and are familiar with to meet up, charge your phone, tell a friend where you’re going to be and, if need be, have said friend call you at a scheduled time on the date with “an emergency” if you feel like you might need a get-out-of-a-shit-date-free card.
Most importantly, remember that it’s not your job to make your date feel comfortable at the expense of your own level of comfort, ok? Ok!
And last, date with your highest self in mind.
Yes, read that again…
Dating should always be a pleasurable experience for you, coming out of the date at the end of the night, as well as going into it.
Feeling good about why you’re on the date in the first place is a big deal. Loneliness, boredom, desperation even, although completely valid emotions, are not good enough reasons to get out on a date this Valentine’s. Or ever, really.
Love yourself enough to want to show up as your best and highest self. Not for your date. For yourself!
And, if you’re still struggling to figure out whether you said yes to a hot date because you really want to, or because you feel like you should, have a rethink.
Because you are too damn fantastic not to bring your A-game to any situation you choose to engage in, date or not.
Besides, if all else fails, remember you have amazing friends who would love to spend an evening out with you, any day of the week. Call them!